Sunny (I believe) started a twitter meme today, and it’s proved rather popular. This is my permanent record of my contribution to affairs, mainly for me to look back on in the future when my tweets have been consigned to the great recycling bin in the sky. So, with no further ado, 18 things that are almost definitely true about Ed Miliband, as made up discovered by yours truly.
1. Scientists have found a habitable planet orbiting Ed Miliband (context)
2. Ed Miliband climbed Everest… in his lunch hour.
3. Ed Miliband was “The Head” on Art Attack.
4. Ed Miliband CAN make an omelette without breaking some eggs.
5. Ed Miliband once beat Usain Bolt in an egg-and-spoon race.
6. Ed Miliband protects. Fact.
7. Ed Miliband invented Cillit Bang.
8. Ed Miliband once peeled an onion, and the onion cried.
9. When Ed Miliband slices pizza, every slice is always exactly the same size.
10. Queen Victoria once called Ed Miliband “utterly hilarious”.
11. Ed Miliband knows when you’ve been Tangoed, BEFORE you know you’ve been Tangoed
12. Ed Miliband co-wrote Liberty X’s number one single, ‘Just A Little’.
13. Ed Miliband COULD put Humpty Dumpty together again.
14. When Ed Miliband went on the Jeremy Kyle show, the lie detector results simply read, “Awesome”.
15. Ed Miliband always wears a party hat, because Ed Miliband is always in the mood to party. (credit The Oatmeal)
16. Ed Miliband once called a sex-chat line, and the girl ended up paying him £1.50 per minute.
17. Ed Miliband can tell whether a Caribbean person is saying “bacon” or “beer can”. (see here)
18. The bidet in Ed Miliband’s bathroom doesn’t look strange or out of place.
Well, there you have it. 18 puerile and pointless made-up things about the new Leader of Her Majesty’s Opposition.