Elevator Pitches

These are desperately frank and deliberately negative elevator pitches for successful products.

The Sims – “It’s like real life, but with all the interesting parts taken out, and a baffling focus of gameplay on scheduling your day to avoid shitting yourself.”

Draw Something – “It’s like Pictionary, except instead of being a social gathering, you draw things on your phone, knee-deep in soul crushing loneliness, for a stranger to identify.”

Escalators – “They’re like stairs, yeah, in their configuration, and indeed in their purpose, but instead of walking up and down them yourself they do that bit for you, so you can awkwardly gawp at whatever is above or below you for about 18 seconds.”