Some of you may remember this rather excellent poem by Giles Wilkes, on the subject of quantitative easing. Inspired by some late night tweeting, I’ve composed a rather crude, fairly short and ultimately just downright poor poem, summing up the days of the Lib-Con coalition so far. It took around half an hour from start to finish, so I won’t be too upset if you think it’s a load of bollocks. So, with no further ado, here it is:
Maggie Thatcher stole our milk,
But David Cameron and his ilk
Are really going hell for leather,
While crying, “We’re all in this together!”
I, for one, am not convinced,
Unlike, it seems, my old pal Vince,
He claims united we must stand,
To bring strong leadership to this land.
“The problem is the deficit,”
And that, apparently, is it.
So we must suffer with pay cuts,
No time to raise our ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’.
The rhetoric has been rehashed,
But services, once more, are slashed.
The poor and needy have to pay,
While banks and business get their way.
Axes swung with such aggression
Will send us back into recession,
But economics isn’t heeded.
“Cuts and more cuts, that’s what’s needed!”
They say five years of being thrifty
Is for the best, so when I’m fifty,
I’ll look back on twenty-ten,
And say, “What brave, courageous men,
Did save us from catastrophe!
They really were quite good, you see.”
But if I’m honest, here and now,
It’s hard to see exactly how
Their policies will work at all,
Their tools an axe and wrecking ball.
But that, I’m told, is how things go,
Under Cameron, Clegg and co.